After RENT: Our Story
by thehobbitgirl
Summary: RENT With Mimi dying, Mark promises to take care of Roger. But with his developing feelings for his bestfriend, will he be able to tell him? Slash! Rating for chapter 8 is R! Now complete.
1. Up to Date

My first RENT fanfic. Hope you like it!  
  
Disclaimer: I, thehobbitgirl, do not own RENT, Mark (cries uncontrollably), Roger, Mimi, or anything else that is associated with RENT.  
  
Wow! An actually short chapter, it's a miracle!  
  
This story will eventually become slash, but not for a chapter or so.  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter one: Up to Date  
  
MARK'S POV  
  
It's amazing how lonely the loft can be. Sure, I've been the only one living here for some time now, but people use to at least visit. Collins, Maureen and Joanne. And after he moved in with Mimi, Roger would come visit everyday.  
  
Well Roger hasn't visited anywhere but the hospital for the past month. No, Roger's fine. It's Mimi. Her HIV turned into AIDS. She has no immune system, hasn't since Roger forced her to the hospital. She had AIDS even before then.  
  
She's had AIDS for two months now. No more use for AZT, no more dancing, nothing but lying in a white sterile Hell waiting for the hand of Death. It's terrible. Her once dark and sparkling eyes are always wide in fear; there's little, sometimes no, life in them at all. She doesn't smile anymore, how can she? The doctors say only a few more months.  
  
I'm awoken out of my thoughts by the phone's ring. I stand up and crack open my door enough to allow the sound of the phone to enter my room. I peek my head out and wait for it to screen.  
  
"Mark?" I rush out of my room and pick the phone's receiver up and put it to my ear.  
  
"Roger? What's wrong?" His voice was thick as he chocked out my name, I can tell he's been crying.  
  
"It's Mimi, Mark." He pauses, gaining breath to continue. I start fearing the worst. "The doctors say, oh god Mark." He starts crying and I'm ready to rush to the hospital in a second. When Roger cries, the world around me disappears and I want nothing but to comfort my best-friend.  
  
"Roger, do you want me to come to the hospital?"  
  
"Please. I need you, Mark." I nod, not caring he can't see me.  
  
"I'll be there in a few minutes, Roger. Do you want me to call the others?" I try to keep my voice calm and reassuring, like I always do when he has a problem.  
  
"No," he sniffs, "I'll do that when we hang up."  
  
"I'll be there really soon." I hang up after a mumbled "Thanks" from his end and grab my coat and scarf, before remembering my camera. I don't go anywhere without it. It got me a reward last year. For "The Most Dramatic True-Life Story", or something like that. Roger was the first to become famous though.  
  
His band took off when some big shot producer heard "Your Eyes" at one of their gigs. They had a record deal the next week. They hadn't done a lot of out-of-state stuff for a while (with Mimi's dying health, Roger refuses to), but they are huge across the entire country. They were planning a tour right before Mimi went into the hospital. Whenever the band does have a big gig, Collins and I'll watch Mimi, who doesn't want Roger to miss any big opportunities because of her. Amazing how death can change a person.  
  
Not that I don't like Mimi. I do, I just feel angry that she cheated on him, on my best-friend, even after her angel brought her back to him. When I was with Maureen and she cheated on me, Roger felt the same way towards her, so I shouldn't really talk.  
  
But the last two years have changed all of our lives. When Roger's first album sold way more than a million copies, when he and the band won a "The Best New Artist" award, when he finally had enough money to pay Benny his damn rent, to go out and eat, to buy AZT when they needed it, to enjoy life, he always helped us out. He shared his new wealth and fame to help us out. He made sure we had rent and food and he made sure that we had decent lives. It was he who got my name out to a film company, he who helped me get my film to take off the ground. When the movie made it big, I was in the same boat as he. I was financially stable and I tried to help him out too. I tried to repay him, but he refused.  
  
"All I need in repayment, is a best-friend." He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his side.  
  
"I am your best-friend." I rolled my eyes at him.  
  
"Then I have all the repayment I need. Besides, my repayment was for all you've done for me, Mark. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." I knew he was talking about April's suicide, his withdrawal, everything that had happened to us, how I helped him through it.  
  
Life had been great for the past two years. After RENT: Our Story (the name I had given our story) things had gone up, we were all going to be okay. But when Mimi got increasingly more sick, it was going back down. For Roger's sake, I wanted her to be okay. I wanted everything to be okay, but somehow, I knew, that nothing was ever entirely okay.  
  
Note: I did research for this chapter about AZT and it said that it works against HIV, so I don't know if you'd use it with AIDS, but I'm guessing not. If you know the real answer, tell me and I'll change it.  
  
Please review! It makes me a happy person! 


	2. So Little Time Left

Another chapter, nothing to say. I also reloaded it, because it was in past tense and it shouldn't be. Nothing new though.   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Warning: This chapter mentions slash, so if that offends you, please leave, cause I just ain't in the mood to hear about it, you homophobic people.  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter two: So Little Time Left  
  
MARK'S POV  
  
A white sterile Hell, aka...the hospital. I take a deep breath once I reach the large brick building and open the glass door. I walk up to the secretary's desk slowly, hearing the squeak of my shoes on the sterile floors.  
  
"Miss?" I ask, clearing my throat. She quickly glances up from her paper and smiles.  
  
"How can I help you?"  
  
"Has Mimi Marquez been moved?" Who knows, it sounded serious over the phone, they might have moved her. She moves to the computer and looks Mimi up.  
  
"Yes, she's been moved to the ICU. Room...twelve." I thank her and head to the left. I pass the cafeteria and the chapel. I enter the elevator at the end of the hall and reach the second floor within seconds. I step out and look for the ICU sign on the white walls. Once spotted I walk faster towards it, even with my feet getting heavier and heavier with every step.  
  
"Roger?" I stop once I reach room twelve and look at the man in the leather chair right across from room twelve's door. I pat his shoulder comfortingly, trying to get his attention.  
  
"A month." He whispers softly. His hands muffle his voice so I can't really hear what he said.  
  
"What?" I bend down so I am level with him.  
  
"A month, Mark. That's what the doctors say."  
  
"A month?" I ask, faking confusion. 'No, it's not what I'm thinking, it's not.' I think to myself. 'It can't be.'  
  
"Mimi only has a month, Mark!" I gasp and fall back on my butt next to his chair in shock. "That's how long she has. No more than a month."  
  
"But they said she had three or four months not a week ago!" I try to fight, even if there is no point to it.  
  
"It got worse."  
  
"Oh Roger." He looks up at me, his blue eyes rimmed with red lines and they gleam with tears. It was like when April died. History always repeats itself.  
  
I sit up again and hug his shoulder to me. I feel his body shake with sobs as he cries into my shirt. I turn, so he cries into my chest as I hold him. After several moments, they subside and he pulls away and quickly wipes his eyes.  
  
"Does she know?" He nods, unable to speak. I rub his arm and he smiles at me.  
  
"Thanks Mark."  
  
"It's what I'm here for." He nods again and we sit in silence for several seconds, hoping everything will go away. "Can I see her?"  
  
"Yeah. She said she wanted to talk to you. Well everyone, but she asked for you specifically." That surprises me.  
  
"Roger!" We look up to see Collins, Maureen and Joanne rush towards us. We stand as Maureen pulls Roger in for a hug.  
  
"How bad is it?" Collins whispers to me.  
  
"She has a month at the most." His face falls and he looks at Roger as Joanne hugs him. He hugs him next and I touch Roger's shoulder.  
  
"I'm going to talk to Mimi okay?" He nods and I step into Mimi's room closing the door behind me. She lies in a large hospital bed, the blankets pulled up to her breasts. She smiles when I enter the room and I return it. I pull a chair next to her bed and sit down.  
  
She's thinner than ever and her skin has taken a pale and see-through look to it. She looks fragile as if one breath to big could break her into a million little pieces. I gently pick up a thin porcelain-like hand in mine.  
  
"Hi." She whispers.  
  
"Hi." We sit in silence, waiting for something to come to mind. "Roger, said you wanted to speak to me." She nods slightly and I would have missed it if I wasn't looking at her.  
  
"Mark, I need you to take care of Roger when I'm gone." So blunt, so accepting of the fact she has so little time left.  
  
"I will, Mimi. We all will-"  
  
"He's going to need it more than ever, Mark." I nod. "Mark, there's something you need to know." She takes a breath and I hold mine, hoping she won't break. "He's going to need help, more than he needed with April and his withdrawals."  
  
"Mimi, I don't see where this is going." Her eyes search my face, reading me.  
  
"You know Roger is bi right?" Maybe I do know where this is going.  
  
"Yeah." She smiles softly, and I know she knows that I know what was coming.  
  
"Aren't you?" I swallow.  
  
"Yes." I answer in a small voice.  
  
"Mark, Roger never loved me-"  
  
"MIMI!" She flinches at my loud tone and I apologize. "Mimi, that's nuts! Of course he loves you! He's out there right now, crying his eyes out because he's losing you!"  
  
"Let me finish. He never loved me like I wanted to be loved. He loves me like a sister, a best-friend."  
  
"That's not true." I won't believe it.  
  
"One time when we fought, he told me." She swallows and I hold my breath again. "He asked me why I was never there for him like you were. Why I couldn't be as caring and always there, ready to help. Why I couldn't be you."  
  
"No. Mimi, you're losing it."  
  
"No I'm not, Mark. I asked him if he loved you. He said yes. He's loved you for a long time I think." I sit back in my chair, releasing her hand as I do so.  
  
"Mimi, I don't know what to say."  
  
"Promise you'll do all you can. He'll need you, your comfort, your warmth and that best-friend attitude."  
  
"I will, and I know what you want me to do to comfort him." I search her face for any regrets but see none.  
  
"You do?"  
  
"You want me to be with him. Like you two were." She doesn't say anything. "Mimi, I don't know if I can. We both knew the other was bi, but we kinda said we wouldn't fall for each other. We didn't want our friendship to hurt. But now you tell me, he may have always loved me."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mark. You don't have to be there for him like that. But don't cross it out okay? Deep down, you may love him to." She raises a shaky hand and touches my cheek. "It would do you both good." I smile at her, take her hand in mine and kiss the back of it.  
  
"We'll miss you, Mimi." She smiles and closes her eyes. I sit forward, hoping she's okay.  
  
"I'm fine. Send one of the others in okay?" I nod, stand and walk out the door. I shut it behind me and lean against it heavily, breathing deep. They look at me with wide eyes and I try to smile reassuringly.  
  
"She wants to talk to someone else now." Maureen nods and stands up. She pats my shoulder before entering the room. I sit down next to Roger in one of the extra chairs the hospital gave us.  
  
"Are you okay?" Joanne asks. I nod and rub my forehead.  
  
"She dumps a load on ya." They laugh feebly and I steal a quick glance at Roger. He is still crying softly and I think that in no way could Mimi be right. He loves her too much to ever think about me.  
  
Yeah, another chapter!! Please review! I'll love you forever! 


	3. Rainy Day

Yeah, another chapter. I'm enjoying this story a lot. And I'm still on an updating frenzy.  
  
Disclaimer: RENT is not mine.  
  
Warning: Slash. Roger gets a little mushy and sappy in this chapter too.  
  
Thank you reviewers! Reviews make me happy! (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink)  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter Three: Rainy Day  
  
ROGER'S POV  
  
It had been a beautiful funeral. White and pink flowers everywhere. Her casket of black with white satin inside. Her pink granite headstone.  
  
The last two weeks have been awful. She didn't even last the whole month. Only two painful weeks of tears, tests and praying to a god we didn't follow. I watched her breath her last breathe, held her hand while she slipped away. I never left the hospital in those two weeks. And Mark was always at my side, like he always has been.  
  
After she died, he didn't even leave me. He lent me a shoulder to cry on, a person to confide in. I was determined to not close myself off like I did when April killed herself.  
  
"Watch it!" I snap out of my thoughts and look around. A homeless man is sitting below my feet, soaking wet. 'Since when has it been raining?' I apologize, give him a few bucks and continue to walk aimlessly, overwhelmed at my grief.  
  
I knew I would miss Mimi. She was beautiful and full of life and love. Love for me, love for everything fun and wild. Even after that fateful night where I told her I wanted her to be Mark, she loved me. And she knew. She knew I only loved her as a friend, like a sister, nothing more. But I miss her so much. I did have feelings for her. I wanted to love her like she wanted. Like she needed and deserved.  
  
I often felt bad about not loving her like I should have. The worse part is that it was the same with April.  
  
In April I saw the same excitement and lust for live. I think she was my biggest fan. She came to all of the band's gigs. She knew all of our songs by heart. When she asked me for a drink, I gladly accepted. We started going out a lot, and I really liked her spirit. We partied almost every night, always slept together. When she offered me heroin for the first time, I had no second thoughts about taking it.  
  
It was such a wonderful feeling. All worries and stress were gone. Nothing could have been wrong. I began to need it, I would do anything for that high. Beg, steal money, use other people's heroin and needles. After awhile, Mark found out and he tried to make me quit. But I would yell at him to leave me the hell alone. He never gave up on me.  
  
I still remember when April was having blood work done and she found out we had AIDS. After they took the blood, Collins, Benny, Maureen, April, Mark and I went out to the Life Café for dinner. She left early to wait for the test results. When we eventually got home, it was late.  
  
"April baby. You here?" I called. I checked Mark, Maureen's and my room, but she wasn't there.  
  
"Maybe she went back to her place." Mark said, patting my arm reassuringly. Even then I felt the rush of feelings for him. I agreed and opened to the door to the bathroom.  
  
That image will forever be burned into my mind. April's body in the red tub of water. Her eyes, wide and open, frightened. Her wrists turned up, slit open. The floor had red droplets leading from the sink to the tub. In the sink lay a bloody razor. And on the mirror was written that message: WE'VE GOT AIDS.  
  
I stumbled backwards, horrified and I ran into Mark. "Hey Roger-" Mark started before he saw the bathroom. "Holy shit." He backed away as well, his hands on my shoulders, while the others surrounded us.  
  
After that I went into withdrawal. I gave up heroin, gave up everything. Benny and Collins moved out. Soon after Maureen broke up with Mark, having found someone else, a woman. But Mark helped me out, he was always helping me. No matter his own problems.  
  
Maybe that's why I fell for him. The quiet, helpful Mark. I wanted that, that caring factor, that "I'm always here" in the person I loved. But we said we wouldn't fall for each other. So instead, I chose April and Mimi. Wild girls with love for life.  
  
I loved them, but I wasn't in love with them. There is a difference. I don't remember ever being in love with anyone before Mark. Love at first sight, I guess.  
  
I laugh out loud with that thought, earning looks from the few people on the street, all huddled under umbrellas. I must look crazy. Outside in the pouring rain, no umbrella, in my tie and suit from the funeral. Hair a mess, eyes red. The rain washing away my tears. I stop and stand in the middle of the street, head thrown back and eyes closed, letting the rain clear my mind and letting it wash away my worries and fears, my sorrows for a few brief moments.  
  
Eventually I need to go home. Everyone will worry. I sigh and head for the loft, paying attention to the street. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and pictures: April, Mimi, Mark.  
  
I get my key out and walk up the stairs to the loft. I moved back in with Mark after Mimi was admitted to the ICU. We didn't actually move any of my stuff until yesterday though.  
  
I open the door to the loft quietly and listen. I don't hear anyone, they must have all left. I step in and shut the door.  
  
"ROGER!" I turn around to see Mark in his bedroom door, back in his everyday clothes. "You're soaking wet!" He walks over to me and takes my jacket off. He sighs heavily. "Go into the bathroom and take your wet stuff off before you get sick." I do so, hearing him muttering something about immune systems, AIDS and me. I feel butterflies flutter in the pit of my stomach. I strip and dry off with a couple of towels. Mark knocks and cracks open the door, handing me some jeans and a shirt, face turned away from me.  
  
"Thanks, Mark." I slip them on and open the door all the way. He's standing there, looking at me with worried eyes. I smile, before tears fill my eyes. I stumble forward, towards him and he catches me in his arms, almost falling from my weight.  
  
"It's okay Roger." He rubs my back while I cry, soothing me and whispering in my ear. I pull away after a few minutes and he wipes the tears from my face, smiling at me softly.  
  
"Thanks for everything, Mark. I couldn't make it without you." He pats my shoulder.  
  
"I'm always here for ya buddy," He smiled again, trying to cheer me up.  
  
"Hey, do you wanna go out? Get something to eat?" I ask him and his smile gets bigger. I know I just made his day. I'm grieving and I want to go out. Don't think that's ever happened before.  
  
"Sure." He disappears into his room, grabbing his camera no doubt. I go sit at the table, head in my hands, wishing I knew how to tell Mark that I loved him. 


	4. Here to Help

I really like the way this story's going.  
  
I'm glad my reviewers like it so much too!  
  
Disclaimer: The usual, not mine, never will be, stop rubbing it in.  
  
Warning: Slash hints  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter Four: Here to Help  
  
ROGER'S POV  
  
I didn't think it would be this hard. I really miss her. I'm lonely at night, the bed is way too big. I've been thinking of getting a smaller one, I'm too depressed to do it though.  
  
I haven't been playing any songs but one: my tribute to Mimi. I know the band worries about me. Mark says they called a few days after the funeral, I missed a practice and they got worried since I didn't call. He told them I was still upset and tired, to not expect me at any practices for a few more weeks or so.  
  
He's really been taking care of me. Making sure I eat, reminding me to take my AZT. He makes me talk to him about it. He does more of the talking, but I replay when he asks a question.  
  
I cry a lot and I try to keep Mark from knowing. I play my cds to block the sound. Marks knows anyway. He'll open my door and pull me to my feet, clutching me to his chest. Every time I cry, he'll hold me and tell me everything will be okay.  
  
God, I miss Mimi. My beautiful, loving Mimi. I see her in my sleep, when I close my eyes. Lately, I've been thinking her I loved her more than I thought I did. But then I look at Mark and years of feelings rush to my stomach.  
  
I want to tell him every time he hugs me that I love him, every time he wipes my tears I want to take his hands and kiss them.  
  
"Roger?" A knock follows Mark's voice and he opens my door. I look up from the paper I've been staring at for the last hour, attempting to write a song. He smils and crouches down beside me. I give him a small smile. "How are ya feelin'?"  
  
"No different than what I have been." He nods.  
  
"You've been shut in your room all day. I was making sure you're okay." He hugs me. "Collins just called. He's coming over."  
  
"Cool." He smiled and leaves my room, disappearing into his own. I pull a shirt on and sit at the table. He comes out of his room, camera in hand. After RENT became a hit, he started filming everything that's happened since. He says he's making a sequel. He filmed the band getting our first award, his premier of RENT will be edited into the movie, Mimi's funeral, everything big that's happened.  
  
"Smile." I look into the camera's lens and give a big false smile, before shaking my head. "Roger finally left his room after a whole day."  
  
"I miss her, Mark." He nods, his eyes sad.  
  
"I know, Roger, I know." He shuts the camera off and sits next to me. I start to cry and he wraps his arms around me. "Roger, don't cry. Everything will be okay. IT always turns out okay."  
  
"I know." I whimper, gasping for air. The sobs soon stop and as always, Mark wipes my eyes. "Since when did I become such a baby?" I laugh softly.  
  
"Since you started to not close off like always?" He asks me sarcastically.  
  
"Keep that up and I won't talk anymore at all." I joke back, punching his arm. He rubs it, pouting. I laugh harder, my sorrow forgotten. He laughs, happy that I'm happy. "Thanks for everything Mark." I say, like I always do when he makes me feel better.  
  
"I'm always here for ya buddy." We smile and in an instant I decide to tell him. I open me mouth, my mind creating the words. I see them, but before I can say them, the phone rings. We snap our heads to the phone as Collins speaks.  
  
"I'm here! Throw a key down you two." Mark stands up and throws a key to Collins. I know the magic is broken and I don't think I'll ever have the balls to tell Mark how I truly feel about him. And for the first time in my life, I wish Collins hadn't come to visit.  
  
Really short chapter, I know. Oh well! 


	5. All This Time

Another chapter and so far this has been my favorite to write. Mark comes to a lot of conclusions and I just really like this chapter.  
  
Thanks to my reviewers! I love seeing review messages in my mailbox. And yes, I am evil The Wishmasters.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not RENT, not Captain Crunch, not Mark or Roger.  
  
Warning: Slash. Mark really starts to think about Roger. And Roger is happy, really happy.  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter Five: All This Time  
  
MARK'S POV  
  
I wish Mimi had never told me. It would have made this so much easier. I want to kiss his tears away, instead of wiping them. I know he wants a smaller bed, but I'd happily fill that empty space next to him.  
  
I groan and punch my pillow. Ever since the funeral, when Roger walked around in the rain, I knew. I knew there was something about Roger, something that made me worry like I've never worried before. As I sat in my room, wondering why I was worrying, it hit me.  
  
Mimi made me think about Roger in a new light. I...I don't know what happened. But I started to really notice Roger. The way he smiles at me, the way his eyes look at me, how graceful his fingers are when they strum chords on his guitar, how truly beautiful he is. His naturally messy blonde hair, his blue eyes that shine like the moon, his muscular body. His presence sparked something in me. I don't even remember when I started feeling like this. How much I realized Roger was a god. And I started to love Roger right back.  
  
I do remember when I realized that I loved him. Collins was coming over and Roger started crying. I cheered him up and he opened his mouth and I knew what he was going to say. He was going to tell me that he loved me, and I waited desperately, wanting to hear those words. But then Collins called, needing a key. I was so disappointed! So then I had to wonder why I was disappointed that Roger wasn't able to tell me. I could only figure the answer because of how my thoughts were going.  
  
Every time I see Roger, I feel strange. Like I did when I dated Maureen. Like a low burning fire spreads from my heart to every part of my body. I want to touch Roger, to hold him. My fingers itch to wipe his tears and I gladly hug him whenever I can. I do it to comfort him, as much as I do to fill my want, my need for physical contact that is never enough.  
  
I need to stop thinking this way. We promised, but he's already broken it, I can right? No, I can't. I don't break promises, especially not to Roger. I rise my head up to glare at the clock. After a few moments, I can just barely make out the fuzzy numbers without my glasses. Two thirty in the morning. Damn Roger! I can't even sleep now! So I think, the way I get to sleep when it won't come. But what to think about?  
  
I could think of what to think, but then I'll come up with an idea, so that won't last long. An idea pops into my head. Try to remember when I first began to really see Roger.  
  
Let's see, events over the past month. Mimi told me he loved me, but I didn't believe her. She kept getting sicker, I was there for him, like a best-friend should be there. He looked so handsome at the funeral, in his formal clothes. He never dresses up and he looks good in a suit. Really, really good. I'm afraid I'm going to start drooling just thinking about it. I remember his eyes were red from crying so much. I wanted to hold then, at the funeral.  
  
Go before the funeral...think, Mark, think. Then I realize. I started to feel this way for Roger the day Mimi died. It was like, now that she was gone, I could love him and not feel guilty. I was at the loft when I got the call.  
  
"She's gone, Mark. She died earlier, about half an hour ago." He was hard to understand, the emotion choking his words. But I knew he wanted me there. So I ran to the hospital and he ran into my arms the second he saw me. I started to cry when he started, the emotion overwhelming. I could feel the pain and sorrow pouring from his body. I held him and I knew I wanted it all to go away. In that hospital, I hated Mimi, even if it was just for the brief moments I held him.  
  
'How dare she hurt my Roger!' I thought and that's when I figured it out. He wasn't just Roger Davis, he wasn't Mimi's Roger. He was my Roger. I sit up in bed, relieved I remembered and that I have things figured out, sorta.  
  
I sigh happily. I love Roger, I know that now. I love Roger, my best- friend. My handsome, sarcastic, guitar-playing, loved by thousands of woman (but he only loves me) best-friend. I've never been this happy before in my whole life.  
  
I dream of him once I finally sleep. I dream that we started dating soon after we met. He never met April or Mimi. He stayed clean of drugs and AIDS. We lived together for years, happy and in love. I saw the day we went out to the day we died, old and side by side, played in my sleeping mind.  
  
When I wake up, I feel happy, refreshed. I step out of my room and see Roger sitting at the table and my heart swan dives into my stomach. Strange what one night's realizations can do.  
  
He's sitting at the table, shirtless. It should be illegal, he's so perfect. He's only wearing long plaid pajamas pants. Since he became famous, he's been working out and it's evident. His arms are well toned, and he has a flat stomach, a broad, smooth chest.  
  
I swallow heavily, resisting the urge to run into my room. But I go make myself a bowl of Captain Crunch and sit by him at the table. Even with all of our money we've made, we still eat Captain Crunch and we still live in our industrial loft.  
  
"Mornin', Mark."  
  
"Morning." He's making me nervous. I quietly eat my cereal, trying to ignore his naked torso; it's not working. Roger's been a lot better in the last week. Mimi's been gone for a month now. Three weeks of daily cries, hourly hugs and talks. Ever since Roger's gotten over-no. Learned to remember Mimi, but not to grief, he hasn't needed to cry as often, hasn't needed my hugs. I miss it.  
  
"Hello! Earth to Mr. Cohen!" He says, waving his hand in front of my face.  
  
"What?" I snap out of my thoughts and look at him. He smiles goofily.  
  
"You've been staring at your cereal for a while without eating any of it."  
  
"Weird dreams." I tell him, knowing he was hinting that he wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me.  
  
"What kinds?"  
  
"You're talkative." I try to change the subject. 'Please let it work.'  
  
"Yeah, got a lot of sleep." 'Yes! It worked!' "Wanna go to the Life Café for lunch? Eat some bohemian food?" His energy is getting contagious.  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Great! I'll go play my guitar for a while, you film...whatever it is that you film when I'm not around and then we'll go have lunch!" He smiles at me and my heart melts. I'm happy he's happy, but I wonder what's up. I hear chords pour from his room and the smile that crept onto my face, unknowingly, widens. Roger is an influence I can not resist. And I just fell more in love with him.  
  
OOHH! Whose going to crack first? Mark or Roger? Hope you liked this chapter as much as I did writing it! 


	6. Be With Me

Chapter six, a good chapter. I like this chapter a lot too.  
  
Thank you reviewers! I'm sorry The Wishmasters, had to get both sides of the plot in (I like to be evil). I was dying when I wrote the scene with a shirtless Roger, the-fraulein. There is nothing better than that. Evilemmylou (love the name), I'm glad you like the way I'm writing this.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Warning: Slash.  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter six: Be With Me  
  
ROGER'S POV  
  
We need to talk, badly. I can't look at him without wanting to hug him, but I don't need to. He's helped me to stop grieving for Mimi, so I don't have my crying fits.  
  
My fingers move around the neck of the guitar, playing something I've never heard of before. I write down the chords and smile. I've been waiting a week to write something new. Words pop into my head and I write them down. Song writing always has come so easily to me.  
  
When I finish the song, I go to the kitchen to eat something. Mark is sitting on the couch staring at the wall. It's still early, only eight, and he looks terrible. His hair hasn't been brushed (from watching him for so many years, I know that's the first thing he does after getting out of bed) and his clothes from yesterday are rumpled.  
  
"You okay?" He jumps up and looks at me, eyes red and puffy with bags under them. "You look like shit. Have you gotten any sleep?"  
  
"No." He blinks at me slowly.  
  
"Have you tried?"  
  
"All night long." He looks away, cheeks slightly flushed and I can't believe he's acting like me. He's the one who always talks about what's wrong, with me, with him, with Maureen and Joanne, anyone. I'm the one who gives short and quick answers. "We need to talk Roger."  
  
I turn around and set the bowl I got out down. His deep brown eyes follow me from the kitchen to the couch. I sit down next to him, he won't look at me now.  
  
"Look at me, Mark." I take his chin between my thumb and forefinger, turning his head towards me. Our eyes lock and I drop my hand, fingers tingling from the contact. "You're right. We do need to talk."  
  
"You first." He answers quickly.  
  
"You said we should talk first." He swallows and he down, eyes wide in fear. Since we're going to talk, I'm going to tell him. I don't care what he says. He deserves to know.  
  
"Right." He pauses and looks around the room. "I don't even know how to start." He laughs bitterly, taking me by surprise. I wait for him to continue talking. "Mimi told me something the day she was moved to the ICU."  
  
'What'd she tell him?' I think with a panic as my heart plummets. "She told me something I couldn't believe."  
  
'She told him. He knows and it's making him nervous. That's why he won't look at me. He's not comfortable. I broke our promise.' All these other thoughts run through my head. None of them good, all negative.  
  
"Are you listening?"  
  
"Sorry, got caught up in a thought. What'd you say?"  
  
"I said that Mimi told me that...that you only loved her as a friend, that you loved someone else."  
  
"Really?" My voice breaks. I can't breath. I'm so nervous.  
  
"Yeah, she said that you loved," he looks into my eyes and I'm taken back. I never realized how pretty they are. A deep, chocolate brown with gold and blue flecks sparkled here and there. I could look into them forever. "that you loved me." I sigh and open my mouth to talk, but he stops me. "Not done. I just want you to know-" he stops and looks away, taking a deep breath. "I just want you to know that...ever since the funeral, I've been seeing you differently. And since that day a week or so ago-when Collins came over-ever since then I knew."  
  
"Knew what?" I ask after several long seconds of silence. He's talking about the day I almost told him the first time. He looks into me eyes again. We don't breath, we don't think, we don't blink, or talk. Only stare.  
  
"I knew that..." he pauses and smiles shyly, "I love you too." I stare at him, eyes wide and he takes it as a bad sign. The thought won't register. He stands, his face sad. 'Mark loves me?' I finally think. I grab his hand before he gets too far away and he turns to look down at me. I stand and his eyes follow my movements. I'm so close to him, he's inches away from me. I release his hand and put my hand on his cheek, stroking it with my thumb. His skin feels wonderful. He closes his eyes.  
  
"Roger." He whispers. I lean closer and tilt my head.  
  
"I love you, Mark." I whisper before bringing our lips together softly. He responds, kissing me back harder than I did and I wrap my free arm around his waist, bringing us closer together. His lips feel wonderful, softer than what I imagined. I pull away slowly and smile. He opens his eyes and blinks.  
  
"Wow." Wow is right. That was the best kiss I'd ever had and I feel so happy, feelings of warmth run through every vein in my body. Even my weakened T-cells cheer.  
  
"Yeah." We laugh at our poor efforts to talk, so we kiss again. I'll never get sick of them. This one is harder, more desperate. His arms find their way around my shoulders.  
  
When we pull away, we're out of breath. We stare at each other, flushed. "I think there's more we need to talk about." He nods and we lower ourselves to the couch, arms still around each other.  
  
"So, what were you going to say?" He asks me.  
  
"I decided to tell you I loved you." He runs a hand through my hair. He brings his face closer to mine and kisses me softly.  
  
"How long?" He asks me quietly.  
  
"Forever. I'm sorry I broke our promise."  
  
"I'm glad we did. I've never been so happy."  
  
"I like making you happy." I stroke his cheek.  
  
"I'm happy when you are." I take his hand and hold it.  
  
"What else should we talk about?"  
  
"Us, our future."  
  
"We're together and our future will be forever." He rolls my eyes at me. I wish that were true.  
  
"Will we tell?"  
  
"When the time is right. No one will object or not accept us." Benny is now the only heterosexual in the group.  
  
"True."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"Intimacy." He blushes and he looks adorable, his cheeks bright red with embarrassment.  
  
"You're so adorable."  
  
"Since when do you say adorable?"  
  
"Since now, since you changed my life. What kind of intimacy?" I can't help but tease him about it, something I know he and Maureen did together, but he's embarrassed to talk about it with me.  
  
"The farthest kind."  
  
"You really want to?"  
  
"Yes. Don't you?" I smile sadly at him, before kissing the back of his hand.  
  
"I do, but the AIDS. I won't let it happen to you." I figure that's why he's embarrassed.  
  
"We'll be careful."  
  
"I can't live without you. I don't want to, don't even want to think about it."  
  
"I know. I don't want to either." He gives a small sob and I know what he's thinking, he'll have to live without me eventually. I pull him into my lap and he rests his head in the crock of my neck. I lean down and kiss his neck. He groans when I bite it softly.  
  
"I love you so much, Mark." We hold each other for a few more minutes.  
  
"I wish we would have gotten together years ago."  
  
"Me too. Things would be so different. I wouldn't be dying, we'd be together for years and years." He kisses my jaw.  
  
"I'm hungry. Want me to make something?"  
  
"I was going to have some Captain Crunch before we started to talk."  
  
"Come on." He takes my hand and we fix some bowls and eat.  
  
"Mimi wanted us to be together?" We started talking about what Mimi said at the hospital and I can't even believe that.  
  
"Yeah. She told me to take care of you, to be with you. I didn't think I could at first, I didn't believe her that you only loved her like a sister and a friend. But I changed my mind."  
  
"I'm glad you did." He yawns. "Tired?" He nods shyly. "We'll go to bed after this." I tease him and wink suggestively. He looks at me with a panicked look in his eye. "Not like that!"  
  
"You winked at me!"  
  
"Doesn't mean anything."  
  
"It'd better not. We don't have any condoms. No woman's been here for a while." I shake my head, laughing. We clean up and head into my room. Mark says he wants to fill the empty space in my bed.  
  
He rests his head on my chest, arms around my waist. One of my arms wraps around his shoulders and the other is on top of one on my stomach. I take his glasses off and kiss his forehead.  
  
"Love you." I whisper.  
  
"Love you more." I kiss him and he closes his eyes, asleep in moments, a smile on his face. I watch his sleep before I fall asleep too, happier than I've ever been.  
  
YEAH! THEY LOVE EACH OTHER! About time right? But of course, the end isn't in sight yet. 


	7. Explore

Sorry it took so long to update. I haven't been home for five days, and then I went to a Gaelic Storm concert as a surprise birthday gift. The sixteenth is my sixteenth birthday, so I'm excited beyond all possible thought.  
  
Love to all my reviewers! Kelby, although this chapter is cute and fluffy, the next chapter will be more...uh active, let's say. Sunny Monster-I've never seen Wicked, but I understand how you felt with the happy ending. As much as I hate when everyone dies in Les Mis, I agree. What a bad ending that would be. Thanks to everyone else who reviewed!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own RENT, or Mountain Dew.  
  
Warning: Slash, fluffy.  
  
After RENT: Our Story  
  
Chapter seven: Explore  
  
MARK'S POV  
  
When I wake up it's light out. I'd think it was all a dream except I'm wrapped in Roger's arms. I smile and squirm closer, as close as I can get to his body.  
  
"Trying to push me off?" I look up, not realizing he was awake. He smiles and hands me my glasses.  
  
"Sorry." I smile, before leaning up to kiss him. "Did you sleep?"  
  
"Only for an hour or two." He pushes the hair off my forehead. "I've been watching you sleep. A new pleasure of mine."  
  
"Really? What time is it?" The clock's behind me and I'm too comfortable and happy staring at Roger to turn around.  
  
"Two in the afternoon."  
  
"You've been watching me for, what, about two hours?"  
  
"You're the only thing I'd even consider watching." He kisses me as I blush. Compliments aren't something I receive very often. "Wanna do something?"  
  
"I wanna get outta here, have lunch, anything."  
  
"Let's go eat lunch. It's been awhile since breakfast." I sit up and get off the bed. "Meet you in the living room in ten?" I kiss his cheek before going into my room. I get dressed, brush my hair then brush my teeth in the bathroom.  
  
I sit on the couch and Roger comes out of his room, dressed. He smiles and goes into the bathroom. He comes out a moment later and hugs me around the neck from behind the couch. "Ready?" He purrs in my ear, sending shivers through my body. I sit up and turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck. I put my head on his shoulder, kissing his neck. He helps me climb off the couch and we leave the loft, keys in hand.  
  
When we reach the street he grabs my hand and we reach the Life Café, smiling happily. Once we're seated, a group of four or five young girls ask for his autograph. He smiles, talks with them as he signs the band's cd case for each of them (some with pictures of him as well). We order our food after they leave.  
  
"Sorry." He puts his hand on mine that's resting on the table.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The girls."  
  
"I'm used to it. Besides you love me."  
  
"Yes, I do." He kisses my hand and smiles. Every time he does, I feel happier than ever. I can't believe my heart hasn't exploded yet.  
  
We eat lunch, pay, then walk to a park nearby. It's not very popular and never that crowded. We walk hand-in-hand around the park, talking, laughing. I pull away from his side to throw a paper off of the ground in the trash bin. Once in, he pulls me back, wraps an arm around my waist and switches our hand positions. I flatter him and put my arm around his shoulder as he moves us in circles.  
  
"Since when do you dance?" I laugh at him.  
  
"Since always." I raise an eyebrow in disbelief. "Well, since I had a reason to dance." I kiss his cheek, then rest my cheek against his chest, feeling happy, content and safe in those arms. His head falls on top of mine and we start to sway side to side.  
  
A few people pass us, giving us the weirdest looks we have ever received. You'd think they've never seen two people in love before, but we don't care. Nothing matters but us. "I want to tell them." I whisper what feels like hours later.  
  
"So do I. Next time we see them."  
  
"Sounds good." I'm getting sleepy again.  
  
"We haven't seen anyone for awhile. How about we ask them over tomorrow night?"  
  
"Okay." I kiss him slowly. We release our hands and wrap our arms around each other. It's the most passionate kiss I've ever had. When we pull away, we can't breath at all. I kiss his cheek when I regain my breath. "Let's go call them. It's getting late." He looks at the watch on my wrist.  
  
"It's only four. Not that late."  
  
"Might be late for them. You know they always need a heads up at least twenty-four hours before anything." He laughs.  
  
"You're right." He kisses my forehead and we head home. We enter the loft several moments later and I unlock the door. "I want in first." He jokes with me, pushing his chest against my back.  
  
"Slow down." He kisses the back of my neck as I get the door open and rushes in past me. "Jerk." I laugh, hitting his back. I shut the door and turn around before he pushes me up against it. He intertwines our fingers.  
  
"Love you." He whispers and I feel shivers again. I've never been in this position with Roger before. We kiss, our bodies pushed against one another's. I groan loudly.  
  
"Have...to call...others." I say between kisses. He backs away enough for me to just slip by, still holding my hand. I call Collins, who says he'll pick up dinner, Maureen and Joanne can come. "Should I call Benny?" I ask him.  
  
"What? NO!"  
  
"Roger, he's still our friend. A scumbag, yes, but still a friend."  
  
"If you want to." I kiss his cheek, whisper thanks and call Benny. He's too happy to come.  
  
"All are coming." He nods. "It'll be okay. They all know we're bi, so it can't be that big a surprise."  
  
"I know. I don't know why I'm freaked out. But I want everyone to know I'm the happiest person ever." I laugh.  
  
"Flattery will get you anything."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Want something?"  
  
"A kiss, a little more." He winks and I'm determined not to blush. It doesn't work.  
  
"To drink I meant." I tease him. His face falls.  
  
"You said anything." He grabs my hands and kisses the palms.  
  
"Yeah, anything to drink." He rolls his eyes, letting me win the fight for once.  
  
"A Mountain Dew." I smile and get him a Mountain Dew and make myself some tea. We sit on the couch when it's done.  
  
"Roger?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How'd you realize you were bi? I don't remember you mentioning any relationships with a guy before." He smiles.  
  
"Afraid a past lover will whisk me away?" He teases.  
  
"Funny, I want to know."  
  
"Never had one." I look at him over the rim of the cup. "I was at some party in High school when I was dared to kiss this hot guy and I liked it a lot. I'd been noticing guys, just like I did the girls. Kinda figured it out." He takes a sip out of the can. "How about you?"  
  
"There was this Senior all the girls were in love with and I thought he was really, really hot too."  
  
"I know you dated some guy before."  
  
"Yeah, a friend of mine. I've had a couple of girlfriends too. My relationships were few, but always lasted a long time."  
  
"Bet you were a stud." He winks, making me smile.  
  
"No, they just really liked me. I was romantic, I knew how to treat them, etc, etc."  
  
"Who doesn't like you?" I kiss his jaw and lay my head on his shoulder. We finish our drinks and just lie on the couch, snuggled together.  
  
NEXT DAY  
  
"You okay?" I ask him, laying a hand on his shoulder. It's almost six and everyone should be here any minute.  
  
"Fine, happy we're telling them."  
  
"Yeah." I run a hand through his hair.  
  
"Key please!" Collins's smooth voice rings throughout the loft. I open a window and toss one down to him.  
  
"We should make more keys." I laugh and Collins enters the loft with boxes of Italian food. Pizzas, pasta, lasagna, garlic bread.  
  
"Yum." I hug Collins. "How are ya?"  
  
"Fine. You're in a good mood."  
  
"After dinner, Roger and I have something to tell everyone." Benny comes next, then Maureen and Joanne. We immediately start to eat and have great time. We joke around, laugh, tell stories and talk about our lives at the moment.  
  
"So what's this secret, Marky?" Maureen asks. Roger and I look at each other.  
  
"Okay. Roger and I are both bi, right?" Collins's eyes get big as everyone nods. "Yesterday," I look at Roger and smile. He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. "We admitted that we're in love with one another." Maureen squeals and launches herself at me.  
  
"I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!" She squeezes me in a hug.  
  
"About time you two." Collins laughs, hugging Roger. "The only reason I never asked Mark out was because of you."  
  
"Don't even think about it. My Mark." They laugh and Joanna hugs me. Benny just shakes his head, smiling.  
  
"You okay?" I ask him.  
  
"Yeah. I thought Maureen was odd. Looks like I need a man too." We laugh, hard.  
  
"Benny made a joke? Shit! The world's gonna end." Roger says, hugging me from behind. I lean against him and he rests his head on my shoulder.  
  
"AW! That is so cute." Joanne laughs.  
  
"I always thought you two would get together." Maureen tells us. We sit at the table again and Benny pulls out two bottles of wine.  
  
"Allison suggested I bring them. I'm glad I did, cause this is a thing to celebrate." He explains and pops the first bottle's cork off. I get some cups out of a cupboard and Benny fills them up. "To Mark and Roger." He toasts.  
  
"To Mark and Roger." We reply. Roger and I toast each other before taking a sip.  
  
Everyone leaves around eleven and Roger and I slip into our pajama pants before going to bed, slightly drunk. We kiss and fall on the bed. I pull him on top of me as we kiss and run my hands up and down his back. His hands roam down to my hips and he kisses down my neck onto my collarbone and shoulders.  
  
"Don't get too far ahead." I croak out. He laughs.  
  
"Okay." I bring his head up to kiss his lips.  
  
"Hate to ruin the moment." I laugh.  
  
"I understand. You're right. You're so irrestiable though." He bites my neck.  
  
"Stop!" I laugh and try to push him off. "I knew this was a bad idea." I think out loud, frowning just slightly.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asks innocently. He knows damn well what's wrong. That smile will get him anything though.  
  
"I can't get you off of me."  
  
"You want me off of you?" I look at him and he sticks his lower lip out. I smile and kiss him.  
  
"Nope."  
  
He smiles happily and rests his head in the crock of my neck. "Night."  
  
"Night." I take off my glasses and turn the light off. Roger kisses me before moving his head to it's original position. I put an arm around his shoulders and the other I rest on his back. We're asleep in minutes.  
  
Very fluffy and cute. I loved the dancing in the park, that was my favorite part. HEHE! The next chapter will be awhile before it's updated. I'm not going to have as much free time for the next few weeks. 


	8. Loving You

Eight. This is my first attempt EVER at writing anything like this, so please, be easy on me.

Thank you to my reviewers! I love fluffy stuff, it made me all warm inside. Hehe. Thanks to seasonsofrent for reviewing so many times in one day.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: Slash. Sexual content.

After RENT: Our Story

Chapter Eight: Loving You

ROGER'S POV

I've had the best month in my life. Mark is amazing. Everything I always wanted, I have. Every night in each other's arms, lunch, the movies or a walk in the park, snuggling on the couch. Every single day.

I lost count how many time we've almost taken the final step. But we can't, because I keep forgetting to buy condoms. I won't let Mark suffer cause of my mistakes. He's too good for that. But it really is getting too hard to resist him. Sighing, I look down at him, his blond hair in a mess, head on my chest, arms around my stomach, a small smile on his face.

I decide that while I'm remembering the condoms, I carefully unwrap his arms from my stomach and pull on some clothes. I leave a note telling him I went to the store, grab the keys and leave the loft. At the store I grab condoms, tea, and other little stuff we need around the loft. The chick at the counter gives me this look when she sees the condoms, before asking me for my autograph. I smile happily and sign a piece of paper she gives me. It's still weird seeing people look at you everywhere you go, but I like it.

When I get back to the loft Mark is awake. "Morning." I wrap my arm around his waist and kiss him lovingly.

"Morning." He giggles. "What'd ya buy?" I unpack the bag and he smiles slightly. "About time you bought these." He laughs, picking up the condom package.

"That's what I figured." We laugh again and I hug him. "I love you, Mark."

"I love you too. What do you want do today?"

"I know what I wanna do tonight." He blushes and I kiss his temple. "When you're ready." He presses his lips to mine, his arms winding around my neck.

"I'm ready." I smile against his lips.

"I'll make a nice dinner tonight, k?" He nods and kisses me again.

LATER

"I will never get over the fact that you can cook." He says cleaning up the table. I had cooked some lasagna, made two salads, opened some wine. I lit candles and we used our nice silverware and plates (a present from my agent when we won some award last year).

"You're just jealous." I kiss him on the neck and wrap my arms around him, pulling his body to mine.

"The dishes." He gasps when I push against him hard and my hand touches him. "Roger!"

"We'll finish them in the morning." He nods slowly and I kiss his neck, my hand on his growing erection. He turns around and kisses my lips. I take his hand and lead him to my bedroom, lips still locked together.

I lift his shirt over his head and kiss down his neck onto his shoulders. He unbuttons my shirt and runs his hands along my shoulders, under the shirt and I let it fall off. His hands are trembling and I kiss each of his fingers.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"Just nervous." He whispers back.

"So am I. Don't worry, I won't hurt you." He smiles and looks at me.

"I trust you." I smile and press our lips together, unzipping his pants. He steps out of them and pulls me to the bed. He lies down and I lower myself on top of him carefully. He unzips my jeans and pulls them off of me.

He writhes under me and I push against him, holding him still temporarily. "Roger." He gasps. I grab a condom and kiss him.

"Are you sure, Mark?" He nods and wraps his legs around my waist.

"Please." I don't need telling twice. I get situated, pushed against his opening.

"It'll hurt."

"I know." I kiss him slowly, and push myself inside. He whimpers softly and I stop. "I'm fine. Don't stop." I nod and kiss his forehead, pushing in farther. I pause when he whimpers to make sure he's okay. Once fully inside and I know that he's okay, I start a slow rhythm.

"You okay?" He nods, breathing hard as our rhythm increases. His hands run over my back, up and down my sides, through my hair as his lips touch my face and neck. His breathing increases before he cries out my name as he comes in my hand. I come inside of him several seconds later and collapse against his heaving chest. He kisses my forehead, brushing my hair back.

"Are you alright?" I nod slowly.

"Never better." He smiles and kisses me, our breathing slowly returning to normal. "I have wanted to do that with you for years." I lay next to him and he turns on his side.

"I love you, Roger."

"I love you too." He snuggles closer after I throw the condom away and falls asleep. I stay awake and hold him, watching him sleep. He's cute when he sleeps, a small smile on his lips. I count his breaths, measure the seconds between the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

I wake up around eight to the smell of food. "Morning." I sit up groggily as Mark comes in the room and kisses me lovingly.

"Hi baby." He climbs in bed and rests his head on my shoulder. "Breakfast ready yet?"

"Yeah. Last night was wonderful." I smile.

"No regrets?"

"No regrets."

"Good." I quickly turn us over so he's pinned under me.

"What?" He laughs, squirming against me.

"Want another go?" I bite his earlobe softly and he moans.

"Roger, no. The...breakfast."

"We can eat it later." I kiss him as we push against one another. I run my hands down his sides and slip my fingertips inside his boxers. He hands me a condom and then I slip his boxers off. I put the condom on before entering him. He nods and I start moving, harder and faster than last night. He groans with each thrust, our kisses are quick and our hands roam over the other's body, desperate for the feel of skin. We cry out each other's names when we come and collapse, exhausted.

We lie still, breathing in sync. I kiss his sweaty forehead and he smiles up at me. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mark."

"We're gonna have to warm the food up." I laugh.

"Do you want go eat?"

"Later. I'm too comfy." I smile and kiss him.

"I agree." I rest my head on his chest and he runs a hand through my hair.

"Ach! You're all sweaty!" He laughs, wiping his hand on the coverlet.

"So are you." He pushes me off and I withdraw from him carefully and sit back, pulling him up to me. He wraps his arms around my neck and I hold him against me. "I really, really love you. I don't think I'll be able to say that enough."

"I know. I really, really love you too." He kisses me and slides off the bed, pulling his boxers on. I throw the condom away and slip my pajama pants on. He slips his hand into mine and pulls me into the kitchen where breakfast sits cold on the table. We warm it up and sit at the table.

"It isn't bad." I tell him.

"It's not as good as last night's dinner. Besides it'd be better after I first cooked it." He teases.

"What you didn't like that?" He laughs and I kiss his hand. "I guess you did the dishes?" He nods.

"You cooked, so I did dish duty."

"I suppose I have dish duty next."

"Yep!" He smiles triumphantly and kisses my jaw. "Wanna do anything today?"

"Just stay home with you."

"That sounds wonderful to me." I clean Mark's huge mess in the kitchen, then we snuggle on the couch for the rest of the day.


	9. Icy Breath of Sorrow

I'm SO sorry I took so long to update. Sophomore year is a lot harder than Freshman and there's a lot going on. I haven't had the time until I made it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Thanks to my reviewers! I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever!

Note: I cried the whole time I wrote this. Extreme angst.

Warning: Angst, slash.

After Rent: Our Story

Chapter nine: Icy Breath of Sorrow

MARK'S POV

"Hey Maureen, it's Mark. We're at the hospital Mimi was at. Can you guys come as soon as you get the message? Thanks." I put the phone back on the receiver and painfully close my eyes. 'God I wish Collins was here.'

It'd be easier with him here. He'd know how to calm my nerves, soothe my grief. I open my eyes and look into Roger's room, chocking down escaping sobs.

"Roger?" He's sitting on the bed looking out the window, back turned to the door. He looks weaker than when Mimi was admitted. I walk into his room and climb into bed with him.

"I don't want to die." He whispers, face turned away from me. I gently run my hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. He moans softly and turns his unshaven face towards me. His moon blue eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"I don't want to lose you." We pull each other closer, his dry lips on my neck, his warm breath ghosting over my earlobe. My lips are on his forehead. "I won't leave the room."

"Thank you." I know how much he hates hospitals.

LATER

"It's so hard. I don't know how Collins handled it." I tell Maureen when she and Joanne get to the hospital. Roger's asleep in my arms like a baby. He clings to my shirt like I cling to him, never wanting to let him go.

"I told him not to go the World Trade Center." She tells us softly.

"We never could have guessed." Joanne says, squeezing Maureen's hand. They had grown amazingly close over the past few years. I don't even think Maureen's cheated for at least four.

"He died nobly." I add, thinking back to the day. Collins had died helping some old man down the stairs. They actually found his body and we buried him next to Angel. "But I don't know what to do."

"Stay here with him, I guess." Joanne suggests. "Give him support."

"Like you always do." Maureen gives my hand a squeeze. "And remember we'll be available whenever possible, Mark. Call us and we'll come right away." She adds as they leave.

I turn back to Roger and wrap my arms around his stomach, lying him down on the bed and snuggling to his chest.

"My world will die without you." I whisper into his ear before falling asleep.

DAYS LATER

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry, Mark." He says after several seconds of silence.

"For what?"

"For ruining us."

"Roger-" I try but he cuts me off.

"We could have been together for so many more years." I wipe the tears from his cheeks with my thumbs.

"I'll always love you. Doesn't matter what happens." He kisses my cheek and pulls me to him weakly.

"I wish I could make love to you one last time." I smile sadly.

"I'll never forget any of our night together."

"It's not fair!" He cries suddenly, voice louder than it has been for days. "You're going to be living in the loft for years to come." We kiss softly. "You shouldn't be without someone."

"I'll never get with anyone else."

"You always told me to get on with life, but you won't?" His accusing tone is harsh, but he softens up when he sees my face.

"You had someone to be with, someone who always loved you. I don't have anyone to lean back on. I don't have anyone to be with, not like you always had. I'll stay alone."

"You'll never be alone. I'll be there. I'll watch you." I smile at his gentle words and the soft love that glows from them.

"I know you'll be there with me." I feel tears as my vision blurs and I fall into his arms.

"I'll never leave you, just like you never left me."

"It'll be hard in the loft." We had promised to not sell it, no matter what happened.

"I'll never see the loft again." I pull away.

"Oh, Roger."

"I'll never see my guitar, your camera, our bed, our loft." His voice breaks and he begins to cry. "Never again."

THREE WEEKS LATER

"Mark? Mark?" A harsh voice wakes me up along with a calloused hand. I open my eyes and sit up next to Roger.

"Roger?" His eyes are dim and he looks odd. "Roger?" My voice is frantic as I jump up and lean over him, my hand on his forehead and my other taking his hand.

"I...I love...you, Mark. I...always have...always will."

"Roger, don't go." My vision blurs again with hot wetness as I kiss his lips, pouring every emotion into the action. Passion, sadness, love, anger. He gently moves his lips with mine, before he stops. I pull away and look down into the eyes I fell in love with.

He whispers my name with a raspy breath, before I watch in horror as his eyes close and his grip on my hand loosens. "No. No! ROGER!" I cry out and the heart monitor flat lines. Slowly I back away to the corner's chair, sobs wracking my body. My eyes close and I wrap my arms around my body as the nurse rushes in.

Next thing I know she's shaking me. "Mr. Cohen? They're taking him away." I snap up and fall towards the bed. I run a hand through his hair before I kiss his cold lips for the last time.

"I love you, Roger." I watch them take his body away before I collapse onto his bed, tears streaming from my eyes.

'He's gone.' I think. 'He's gone.'


	10. Epilogue

I am so sorry it has taken me almost two frickin' years to get this damn chapter up. I have excuses; I'm not going to bore you with them. And this is the last chapter, so I feel as if this is kinda anti-climatic, but oh well. I hope you enjoyed my little RENT fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, but I kinda own Mark's movie, cause I came up with it.

Thanks to all of my reviewers who have reviewed. You guys are awesome.

Warning: Slash.

After Rent: Our Story

Epilogue: The Memories and Moving On

MARK'S POV

It feels weird walking down the red carpet without Roger attached to my arm. Everything for the last year has felt weird without Roger. Sleeping, eating, walking through the park, filming (which I don't do a lot anymore-there's no one to film), everything. But I did invite Maureen and Joanna to this gala opening night thing. At the moment they're happily signing autographs for screaming fans. I'm just trying to smile and live through the night.

Maureen joins my side and smiles at me. I roll my eyes and she laughs as camera lights flash from all around us. Pictures, pictures and more pictures. People calling our names and interviewers shoving microphones into our faces for us to answer a few questions. Maureen is loving it, of course, answering every question, smiling. The camera loves her.

It's the same at every movie opening I've ever been to: the fans, the cameras, the stars. Even my own isn't different. Only there's no Roger to help me get through it all.

"Come on, Mark. Let's go sit down." I nod and allow Maureen and Joanna to pull me into the theater where the movie is being premiered. My second documentary. The last documentary about the RENT crew that will ever be made. There's only four of us left, three that keep in contact. What's the point?

The theater quickly fills with fans and stars. Roger's band smiles at me from up front of the theater and I smile back. We keep in touch; they're looking for a new singer but none of us know how they'll find someone to replace Roger. Finally the lights dim and the previews start. I watch half-heartedly until it starts.

"Our Lives After RENT" appears and Maureen squeezes my hand, tears filling in my eyes. I breath shakily, but I can't tear my eyes away as pictures of Mimi appear, of Collins, and of Roger.

It's not very long, shorter than the first one by fifteen minutes or so, but it's better every time I watch it. There's not much on it but the premier of "RENT: Our Story", with all of us but Angel there; the band's first award ever; Mimi's funeral; Collin's funeral; Roger's. Besides, it's the ending that counts. My memorial to those who've left us.

Mimi is first. It says her name, when she was born to when she died and then there's my favorite pictures and sequences with her. There are a lot of her dancing and a few good ones with Angel.

Then it's Collins. It's the same for him. Most of his sequences are with Angel, but there are a few good ones with me. The very few of me in the movie. I even have him singing a little bit. Singing was Collins's secret passion.

And then there's Roger's memorial. My breathing quickens and Maureen squeezes my hand again. The pictures with Roger are wonderful. A few of him playing guitar, some of him and Mimi, some of him and Maureen fighting. And then there's the last six sequences. Me and him. There's one of us dancing together, kissing, him trying to teach me the guitar (which I'm horrible at), us snuggled on the couch together. I close my eyes as the memories flood over me.

"God, I miss him," I whisper as the last very last screen comes up. "Dedicated to the memory of Roger Davis, my best-friend, my lover and the best man I ever knew. I miss you and I love you, Roger." And then the credits begin and everyone is clapping. I stand up and smile as they turn towards me where we're sitting in the very back of the theater. I see a lot of women wiping their eyes and I take off my glasses and wipe my own eyes before replacing them.

"Great job, Mark," Joanna whispers, hugging me.

"Thank you." Maureen kisses my cheek. And the clapping continues.

THREE WEEKS LATER

"Thank you so much, Mr. Cohen." I wave the two bye and sigh as they skip merrily away. I haven't been merry in I don't know how goddamn long. And I hate being called Mr. Cohen. It makes me sound like my father. Urgh. I flip through today's paper until I get to the entertainment section.

The movie is still big at the movies. Which is good, because that means it's making money, which means more money for HIV/AIDS research. I want as little people to lose loved ones as possible. This is the first movie I've done where I'm making no profit.

"Excuse me?" I look up from the paper and meet gazes with a pair of gorgeous green eyes. I look from the eyes to the rest of the man in front of me. He has a nice, even tan, not real dark but very pleasant. His hair is a dark-brown, shaggy in length and style. His clothes are very rock-like. Jeans with a chain, jean jacket, red shirt, double-pierced earlobes, leather boots. And his body isn't bad.

"Yes?" I ask, remembering that he talked to me. Then I'm ashamed of myself. How can I even look at anyone else?

And then that voice that seems to be my alter-ego, the "Roger" voice says, 'Because I said I didn't want you to be alone.'

"Are you Mark Cohen?"

"Yes." He smiles and I smile back. I take his hand that he held out and shake it, our eyes never breaking contact.

"My name is Hunter Watkins. I'm a very big fan."

"Glad to hear it." He looks down and then back up at me.

"I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss of Roger. He was a great musician. I was a fan of his as well."

"That's very kind. Thanks." He nods again and takes a deep breathe. And it reminds me of myself when I try to keep the tears from coming out.

"It moved me. I lost my lover to AIDS three years ago and I understand your pain." My mouth drops open and I remember my manners.

"Would you like to sit?" I ask and he looks surprised.

"Are you sure?" I nod.

"Yes. I don't get to talk to random strangers anymore. Most are too intimidated to even approach me." He laughs and nods, pulling out the chair next to me and sitting down.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Go on." He smiles and he tells me about his lover, Matt. Matt was a painter, got HIV from an ex-lover who cheated on him. Met Hunter and they were together for ten years before Matt died.

"I'm so sorry," I say, rubbing his arm and he smiles at me, wiping his eyes.

"Yeah. It still hurts." He looks at me seriously. "I'm proud of you, Mark." I smile inside. 'He called me Mark.'

"I read that you're giving all the money this movie makes to HIV/AIDS research," he continues and I nod happily.

"Yeah."

"That is awesome."

"I don't want people to go through what we did." He nods and we smile sadly.

"I should go." I nod and I know I can't let this guy go. "It was very nice meeting you, Mark," he says, holding out his hand and I shake it, eyes meeting again.

"Would you like to have dinner sometime?" we ask at the same time and then laugh.

"That sounds great," I answer and he smiles, his eyes twinkling.

"Great." We exchange numbers and I watch him walk away. He looks over his shoulder at me, waves and then crosses the street.

I sit back in my chair and smile to myself. I actually feel happy, a pleasant buzz in my stomach. Roger was right. I have to go on with my life; take my own advice for once. But I'll never forget him. Or the rest of the RENT gang.

And it's over! I wanted Mark to be happy in the end and I think he'll be happy with Hunter. Review and thank you for sticking by me through this very long process. Again, I'm sorry it took so long.


End file.
